FAIR PLAY
THE FAIR PLAY METHOD
Developed by US-based author, Eve Rodsky, and brought to life through the documentary produced by Reese Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine, Fair Play is an innovative system that helps families to divide up domestic chores and childcare in a way that is is flexible and most importantly, equitable.
With tools for communicating about values and standards, regular check-ins to keep you on track, and cards for allocating roles and responsibilities, Fair Play helps you to prioritise what is most important to you and your family.
The benefits of using Fair Play:
- Change the way you think and talk about domestic life
- Set yourself and your partner up for success in relationships and parenting
- Discover guilt-free space to develop skills and passions
Contact me about DOCUMENTARY SCREENINGS, INDIVIDUAL/COUPLE SESSIONS, or CORPORATE WORKSHOPS.
MY PERSONAL FAIR PLAY JOURNEY
Shortly after qualifying as a psychologist, my husband, Tom, and I became parents. We were blessed with two delightful and strong-willed children. As any parent knows, those early years are unquestionably an endurance test, and despite having family nearby to support us, we both operated on survival mode much of the time. Tom had statutory paternity leave and I took maternity leave, throwing myself into motherhood with all the gusto that I had put into my professional life. However, when I returned to work, I realised that I continued to be the default parent. Whilst we shared some tasks more easily like school drop offs and bedtimes, others fell along gendered lines such as Tom mowing the lawn or taking the bins out, whilst I took on groceries, meals, homework, the kids social calendars and laundry with Tom helping when he felt he could. I realised that my tasks were repetitive, more frequent, and time-consuming, and the mental load of remembering what was needed left me drained and exhausted with little energy for much else. The division of labour at home became the issue that we would talk (or rather argue) about the most. We both felt resentful and unappreciated. Sometimes things would change for a few weeks but then it would drift back to the status quo.
We had no idea how we had got here, and more frustratingly, no idea how to solve this! We had no road map aside from our own histories and societally-condoned norms about what it means to be mother or father. Being proactive, I turned to books and research for an answer. Whilst I discovered that this was a problem that had been written about for decades, I was disheartened by the lack of effective solutions. It wasn’t until I came across Eve Rodsky’s book, Fair Play, that I finally felt that I had the language, structure and tools to tackle the issues in a way that has strengthened my relationship, helped to solidify our family values, and created lasting change. Whilst family life is still busy and chaotic, I finally feel like I have a fair share of the spare time to focus on myself, nurture my hobbies and be more creative with my work. As a psychologist with a passion for understanding the contextual causes of emotional difficulties, I believe in systems as a way to tackle inequalities, and Fair Play is a system that works!